Very Long Straw

Dec 31, 2021

Event Score

  1. Gather a dozen or more people at one restaurant or cafeteria table.
  2. Everybody at the table in one group effort secretly and nonchalantly constructs one very long straw underneath the table by piecing together everybody’s used personal straws.
  3. The long straw is only revealed out in the open after the group is finished with the gathering.

Back Story

This event/action actually spontaneously materialized at the cafeteria in Belleview Elementary School in Belleview, Florida via my 5th grade classmates of which I was a co-conspirator. The year was either 1993 or 1994, making us 10 or 11 years old.

We secretly put our straws together in a conspiratorial type of way, which is how it felt.

The straw was only discovered by the end of lunch time as the lunch lady kept pulling what felt like an endless straw. She did not take the incident lightly, but was considerably angry, and immediately retaliated by snitching us out to our 5th grade teacher (Ms. Keynes). The lunch lady instructed Ms. Keynes to punish us in some way, which Ms. Keynes agreed to.

However, little did the lunch lady know that Ms. Keynes was resonant to the performance art action that had manifested and decided to become part of the conspiracy, as she did no such punishing. Once we all got back to class, expecting some sort of reprimand, we received honor instead. Ms. Keynes praised us for a job well done as it showed very good craftsmanship, humor, and teamwork.

Final Notes

As we are living during a time of pathological hypochondria, such an action were it to be executed today would be found to be taboo, which only adds to the appeal.

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