Gretel’s Choice

A woman named Gretel in a black Louis Ferre wig enterred the Baudrillard Tavern and asked for a pair of Hydro Tech 2 swimming fins from the bartender wearing a brown Louis Vuitton belt.

The bartender replied, “Sure, a BioLite AlpenGlow 500 lantern coming right up!” Then she pulled out an Olympia SM 9 typewriter and placed it on the counter in front of Gretel who now took off her Maui Jim sunglasses to further inspect her order.

“Is that a Western Amigo horse saddle I see before me?” said a man glaring at her order with bright eyes as he fiddled with his silver Patek Philippe watch.

From the men’s room that exhibited a black Baldwin Contemporary doorknob, a man in a new Rowel Western short sleeve was stopped in his tracks. He informed Gretel in a matter of fact way, “That, my lady, is a Zero-G garden hose like no other.”

His friend right behind him with a Hugo Boss tattoo added, ”Yes, you can’t find a dozen Vice Pro Plus golf balls like that anymore.”

All the attention Gretel attracted put her in such a generous mood that she announced, “Well since you all like my bar choice this much, how about I buy you all a round?”

A few minutes later, the bartender set out a Continental GP4000 bicycle tire, a box of Wienerberger AG bricks, and a sack of Grandpa’s Best Timothy Hay on the counter.

Ever since then, Gretel’s choice had become a cherished Baudrillard Tavern tradition.