I. Call Cal Cal or Minnie, Miney, and Mo, Anna Βanana or Handy Dandy Andy.
II. Choose NovoCain and Label, just a numb-er or Gene’s generic brand Brand Pitt in row S, seat T, class A, type M, model P.
III. Don’t dare misspell Authur The Great Snoughflake, username my_coat_of_arms.
IV. Remember Nick’s nickname Nick for the Certified Identification Registry (CIR) at the Dept. of Depts. Dept. (DDD).
V. See it. Name it. Sorted.
VI. Tag, you’re It, Bigwig Bigthoven AKA Special Ed VIP, Flag Patrol of Edinburgh. You have exclusive It/It pronouns.
VII. Tim is on your side. Pat’s got your back. You will be monitored and recorded by His Holiness QR Cody and The Most Honorable Mark of The Seal.
Signed Peter Dick Willy, PPhD