Things That Happened on May 32nd

A wealthy homeless veteran walked in and out of Walmart to take 3 dozen shopping carts out in the rain and away from designated corrals, all for science.

An umpire at the Red Sox game called a strike 4 on an armless batter with a chest tattoo of Bicycle deck’s 5th suit.

A lady in a walker with a squeaky horn delivered a Starbucks half shot of water to a Marriott doorman who held the door all evening only for when guests were not entering.

A Harvard grad student got a passing score of 42% on a multiple-choice true, false, both true and false quiz in Fundamentals of Panhandling. 

A boy landed on the teleport randomly 6th square during Snakes & Ladders after having tired of hiding far too long during a game of just Hide.

A blind golfer hit the ball all the way back to its precise starting point for a reverse hole-in-one which would not have been possible without Advil 72-hour Pain Relief. Get back in the swing of things.